Bloody fun commentary … 

That ***** gets me every time. | MJ referring to coming upon the life-sized cutout. The five asterisks could stand for ‘queen’ perhaps.

I’m going to go fluff my hat. | Vince prepping for his jester role.

Oh my God I think I just peed myself. | Rebecca seeing who QE1 actually is.

Just get rid of the big chunks. | Ed’s explanation of how men ‘freshen up.’

I have hot cockles. | MJ. Presumably a reference to the spice level of one of the cocktail contest drinks.

I just squirted all over the table. | Hopefully another cocktail contest reference.

Did you already take your shots? | Cassie. Many of the performers took the adjective seriously in Drunk Shakespeare.

Who’s Clitoris? | MJ. Watch the performance and you’ll understand

I am clitoris! | MJ, doing her best Kirk Douglas Spartacus

Barf | Bryan. We did say five shots.

You have to take care of your buddy. | Allan to John Hf regarding Bryan’s post-performance condition.

You’d think they were on vacation. | Funnery Constable Allan blowing the whistle on the bedroom level at 9am.

I’m a much better person here than I am in real life. | Erik.

Can you come help blow up the dogs? | Jen. Those poor corgis.

We’re going to take a picture. | Barb in answer to a question of what we were doing with the Ploughman’s Lunch ingredients. Has anyone ever better encapsulated what Wheeekend is about?

And if you’re poor you can watch Pluto TV. | Bryan

What’s our next project? | Rebecca, asking wearily

Is it alcoholiky? | MJ

The Unpleasant Pheasant | Vince, as we got a little tired of the English weather

Who said Something about two fingers in the hole? | Rebecca

That was fun, but I’m done. | Vince

Congratulations, Eric! | Sharon, who seemed to think one individual carried one of the trivia teams.

The night is not young and neither are we. | Vince

I’m just going to think you are a hooker! | Rebecca to Sharon. You’ll need to ask about context.

Do you want to buy it? | (A retro Top, remembered by Vince. Tommye’s comment when complimented about her rock art.)

We’re all going to get in a circle and – give it a jerk! | Your Obedient Servant John Hf. Thanks to Julie for donating the Christmas crackers. (* Winner!)