There’s no doubt, lined up side to side and head to toe, we Weekenders have just as much talent as any randomly chosen cross-section of any Westernized nation. Let’s prove that to ourselves!
Contest Rules
Rules for the first annual Weekend’s Got No Talent Contest are very simple. Just plan on getting in front of the group, and start performing. Music, acrobatics, oratory, origami, humming through an unexpected orifice: Whatever you think will win you the smallest amount of derision.
Everyone will get up to ten minutes (and no fewer than nine) to impress the audience. We’ll all take turns on the Rotating Panel of Snark, fill out our ballots — and announce the winner!
Contest balloting criteria:
1. Overall Quality, 25%
2. Creativity, 25%
3. Sheer Willingness to Risk Humiliation, 35%
4. Costume/Props, 25%
NB: Baton-twirlers or similar acts using batons, machetes, knives etc., will not be accepted. No fire, smoke or smoke-effect will be allowed on stage at any time. Unless they’re really really cool.
If anyone has any special equipment or other needs, please notify YOS presently.
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WHAT??!!! No batons? Now I have just
30 days to regroup. What would match my
natural perkiness, pink spangly
leotard and white ankle boots with
tassels? Maybe there’s a Rod Steiger
soliloquy I could quickly memorize.
I suggest we increase the “Sheer Willingness to Risk Humiliation” category to a minimum of 35%.
My performance will be in PowerPoint*. Bulleted slides, ho!
*My special talent.
P.S. There’s a maximum, but is there a time minimum?
Scoring equals 110 percent! Math is definitely someone’s No Talent…..
Steve- My advice, never argue with a man who buys kippered herring by the barrel. He has the power to hurt you in ways none of us want to think about. And personally, I find the opportunity to give 110% of something not that is not that great to begin with quite ironic, and right in my wheelhouse. TAKE THAT SUCKAS! I’ve got tons more no talent than you!