Faster, Pussycat! Blend! Blend!
BLEND I drank the best chopped-ice confections of my generation, whirring blades rending pistachio hearts to silken nectar, dragging myself through the Baymont hallways looking for a whipped-cream fix, sweat-headed hipsters yearning for the heavenly connection to the mic box, slammed and slamming, contemplating haiku. Rend? No, Blend. NO! Chop! Grate! Grind! Stir! Puree! Whip! Mix! Frappé! LIQUEFY! William Shakespeare! I'm with you in Bloomington where you're hotter than I am I'm with you in Normal where you must feel very strange I'm with you in Bloomington in my dreams you walk dripping from Lake Clinton to the door of [...]
Poetry Contest Guidelines, or: How We Made the English Language Very Tense
Friday is "I Can't Believe It's Not Poetry" Night. The winner (chosen by the audience, usually without regard to skill or sobriety on anyone's part) is named Malvolian of the Year and earns a minimally interesting gift award. Any form of poetry is acceptable, though the Homeric Epic has been largely discouraged. One may wish to study previous entries for inspiration, or perhaps as a form of aversion therapy. Among favorite forms for Weekenders have been: The Haiku. Three lines (5 syllables, then 7, then 5 again) with no need to rhyme. The last line is often zany. Special credit [...]
Poetry 2006
Bragging Wrights Expectation laden I with weary writing tool fashion-conscious thoughts Not too enlightened minds stimulation or pause But soul leeward seeking only recognition Again too Basque in past and future imagined glories Beret cocked and goat tea drinking wino that I be We bragging wrights of words and rites and rights Pro and con test entering fools Ripe now pick-me-up, up to heaven, pick me. -- Mike M. Unnamed Fibonacci 1) rhyme 1) mood 2) not me 3) but structure 5) I can work with that 8) who really thinks the play's the thing? 13) there's one or two [...]
Poetry 2005
Oh Shakespeare Where Art Thou? An Ode to the Fest in Four Parts There's a Western we know, not the best Which we visited each year at the fest They took us for granted We became disenchanted Now Country Inn is the place that we rest. We ate breakfast at Denny's this time The food was simply sublime! They serve a Grand Slam Cakes, hashbrowns and ham Uncle Tom's is more famous for slime Grady's was the site of our play day The Eighties were clearly its heyday We declared war On poor Steve on the shore Mateys, it was [...]